“I look at that for a while, I look right at it for eight hours a day…that reminder is always there and it’s something that yeah, it’s just nice to have, it puts a smile on your face to see and to have that reminder there regardless of what’s going on…the reminder that you are […]
“It‘s a climbing carabiner, it’s a very important part of climbing…in a relationship, you have to trust the other person. If you fall or if something in life happened that you’re not happy about, you’re in a bad spot, that your partner would be able to help you out and help pick you back up…just […]
“We stay up at night and talk even though it’s a really crowded place…her being really open with me allows for me to be more open and talk about my feelings. That’s not a really easy thing for me, and that makes me feel really good.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: Istanbul, Turkey
“This pathway is a place that shelters you from all of the outside unpleasantries. I feel like that’s one of the things that a relationship should provide…like, no matter what happens outside, it should be a safe space for you to go on with your life.” Participant Age: 25 Participant Locale: South Holland, Netherlands
“There is leading and being led, but you have to give intention and the follower should accept it. And she could lead, or he could lead also…instead of just one person starting and the other one is doing…but it’s both deciding, both accepting, negotiating, and changing the way we do it.” Participant Age: 30 Participant […]
“You have to be conscious of the bigger picture, from time to time, one of you might take on more work…But the point is that you are a team, your roles may change, but it‘s a journey you are taking with your partner.” Participant Age: 26 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
“Like, obviously, both sides in the relationship are going to make mistakes and cracks are bound to happen, but it’s up to you how to fill them in. Like, I just thought that the way this looks, it adds color to what otherwise is a concrete block. Also, you could use this as an analogy […]
“I think we have our deepest conversations while lying in bed talking about our day, because during the day, we‘re really busy…During nighttime, we would also discuss what our plans are for the next day and then catch up with each other.” Participant Age: 23 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
“I never really liked dogs, and when we moved in together, I ended up taking care of the dogs, which was pretty uncomfortable for me at first. The adapting part is that I have to change and I really came to love the dogs, because I knew that my ex really loved them. You have […]
“So, to me, it’s kind of perfectly balanced…And that balance point might not be everyone doing exactly the same things, because I know some couples that say, ‘Well, if you’re going to do dishes, we have to do half of the week me, half of the week you.’…So, to me, that becomes too neurotic. It […]
“In the bedroom kind of thing, people need to learn to communicate and ask without just trying to force whatever agenda they put into the back of their minds…I understand that whatever I was doing was somehow indirectly or directly affecting this person. So, whatever decision I made, I pass it through her first.” Participant […]
“When you’re having or making a big financial decision, like buying a house like this, make sure that you’re both on the same page about what you want. If you’re someone in a relationship where you don’t usually voice up, voice up…even though it’s going to cause conflict, stand up for what you want out […]
“Often we‘ll write a quick sticky note to say there’s some food, coffee, help yourself, have a great day…a quick reminder that she cares…it‘s important to regularly verbalize those feelings and just have that openness about how we’re feeling.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
“I guess two things with this photo is the concept of moving forward…but also, like, the fact of difference in relationships and, you know, you don’t have to be the same person, right?…You want to have these differences that you can kind of learn from and you can have different passions and different ways of […]
“Knowing that [you] are with someone that would care for you, and that you can be open about your feelings, and you can feel safe…I thought it was like really comfy…I knew that I felt good and relaxed, and don’t think about any other things.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: Istanbul, Turkey
“Chores are going to be a constant…you have a specific way of doing things at your home, and then the other person has a specific way of doing things at their home, those things are going to clash…for us dishes have clashed, and so we have to really compromise and learn how each other does […]
“We can try to let our egos aside and have a conversation about that. But if we cannot come to a middle ground about this, and it’s so important for both of us that we are not breaking down on our point, maybe those kinds of situations might require some professional help.” Participant Age: 25 […]
“I’m vegetarian, and my partner is not, we came to a compromise before we had kids. I’ve certainly kept my own values around it, but I’ve also relaxed how I think about it, especially for my family.” Participant Age: 41 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
“Making sure that you are continuing to check in with each other and, you know, people’s wants and needs change over time. So, making sure that like, you are still meeting each other there.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: Pennsylvania, United States
“You need to show each other that you actually care about each other in a physical way as well as an emotional way; I think that is an important part of a relationship…actually taking care of each other’s physical needs…in the sense that you need to feel loved, and you need to feel cared for.” […]
“I am expecting to have separate lives also, like within a friend group, within the external activities, outside activities, inside activities, private times, personal times etc…and it’s really important for me because I have to be myself first…After that process, we can be together because like we are also two separate people. And we could […]
“I like flowers, too. Some of my relationships, some of my partners, after I tell them, bought these kinds of flowers…Like, I am not writing down how many times I have bought roses or flowers and how many I’ve received. Still, occasionally, I might like some of those.” Participant Age: 34 Participant Locale: Ankara, Turkey
“A woman is the one who bears a child, who suffers the pain of the labor…so I try to like take care of the kids at night and put them to bed and I handle them when they wake up at night and feed them…if you want to be equitable, a 50/50 share is not […]
“She knew that she felt safe with me out there. And she was able to sort of let go of the question of feeling uncertain about what is going on and these new things and feeling safe in the environment that she was in.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: Gisborne Region, New Zealand
“I receive, I think, more pleasure, just from a natural sexual experience than she does and so the idea of supplementing that with some sort of toy or whatever it might be…was sort of an equity piece of making sure that both of our needs were met to the best of our abilities and sort […]
“Who has it tends to have power in the relationship. And so this is where most of the women are at a disadvantageous position because most women are not given the opportunity to work and earn their own money. They tend to depend on the man. And so, once the man feels like he’s the […]
“If we go to this location, like she’ll want to do this activity and I might not choose that, like, first thing for myself. But then I’ll gladly go and do that activity and then I think similar for her. So, again, I think that’s also a part of the equitable, it’s not just it’s […]
“When we were moving in, she kind of like had more of the artistic vision of how the apartment should come together. Whereas I was just like doing the labour of a lot of the moving and assembling…when things end up being split that way, I always feel a little guilty or like a bad […]
“I am thinking I would like to have another, but [my partner] wouldn’t like me to…I don’t want to cause that argument. Other times I go well ‘fuck it’, it’s the only time off I’m getting…this balancing of do you always do what you think your partner wants or sometimes it is okay to actually […]
“Fetch(ing) water in the community places has become mainly a female role…there are a lot of situations where the pipe is not flowing and they don’t get to fetch the water. It brings a lot of violence in a relationship. Water, especially in developing countries, it’s a key thing…If men are also going to fetch […]