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Domestic Work
The division of household chores plays a big role in gender equality and gender equity in intimate partner relationships. Through photographs that depict cooking, cleaning, organizing social activities, managing finances, parenting and more, participants shared their approaches to navigating domestic work.
- All
- Floor 1: Values
- Floor 2: Activities
- Floor 3: Communication
- Floor 4: Intimacy
- Floor 5: Domestic Work
- Share
- Top 30
Map of Our Journey
“Those are all places that we’ve been, some together some individually and we’ve enjoyed… it’s representative of things that we enjoy together, separately…When I met [my partner], I got her the New Orleans one… And then every year after that, I’ve gotten her a different one.” Participant Age: 39 Participant Locale: North Carolina, United States
Us Time
“Just take a moment to grab a coffee or pastry or something like that and just sit and talk about work sometimes, talk about us sometimes… It could be us just sitting outside at the end of the day, having a beer together or sitting by the fire… just having that moment to be us, […]
1. Reminder That You Are Loved
“I look at that for a while, I look right at it for eight hours a day…that reminder is always there and it’s something that yeah, it’s just nice to have, it puts a smile on your face to see and to have that reminder there regardless of what’s going on…the reminder that you are […]
She Doesn’t Hear Me
“Those two argued and she’s unhappy. I am trying to talk with her, but she is not listening…maybe I did a mistake, but we are not able to solve the problem, we just act like nothing happened. But after some time, they get uncovered. She was listening, but she was not hearing me.” Participant Age: […]
Unlocking New Responsibilities
“We’ve gotten to the point of the relationship where we have shared each other’s key…the fact that she trusts me with that, all I’ve got here is my cat and she’s got three kids, so the fact that in her mind it’s equal enough to share that responsibility is very expressive to me of how […]
18. Anniversary Dinner
“I’m vegetarian, and my partner is not, we came to a compromise before we had kids. I’ve certainly kept my own values around it, but I’ve also relaxed how I think about it, especially for my family.” Participant Age: 41 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Free Time and Hobbies
“I’ve got very little free time, and I’m acutely aware of it…I want to spend some of my time doing my own thing. They’re important because we want our kids to grow up seeing their parents having lives and being people…I’ve got to work really hard to make sure that [my partner] has time to […]
30. Fetching Water
“Fetch(ing) water in the community places has become mainly a female role…there are a lot of situations where the pipe is not flowing and they don’t get to fetch the water. It brings a lot of violence in a relationship. Water, especially in developing countries, it’s a key thing…If men are also going to fetch […]
Keeping Things Interesting
“Travelling is something that the two of us have talked about a lot… it just goes back to keeping things interesting and keeping it exciting…we took this trip to Victoria… there was a concert, there was a performer, an African singer there, and it was very exciting for us to go and participate, just go […]
Dual-Income Household
“We used to rent and that was causing a lot of stress…it was my partner’s income that enabled us to get a mortgage because I wasn’t earning enough, but I inherited some money, and it enabled us to get the deposit and get on the property ladder, which is pretty difficult.” Participant Age: 39 Participant […]
Leaning on Each Other
“During the shooting process, which is what’s depicted in this, it’s border-lining on chaos. And my partner has been fundamental in seeing that, and I’ve leaned on her heavily over the years, because of her strong administrative and communication skills to be coordinating and managing some of these projects.” Participant Age: 42 Participant Locale: British […]
A Sense of Adventure
“For a healthy relationship, a sense of adventure is always important, doing things together, going out together, like making sure you spend time together in a sense of doing something, not just like being in a room together.” Participant Age: 41 Participant Locale: Alberta, Canada
Energy Levels
“I have some weeks that are really heavy… I can have some weeks where I just have a lot of energy…It has been important to put words on or to try to share where I am mentally and why it might be difficult for me to be talkative or to be present in a relationship.” […]
Splitting the Bill
“Once a month, I see it in a popular website, this topic: Who should pay the bill on a first date? I’m like, ‘Okay, maybe let’s just get over this. It’s 2022.’ People usually have strong ideals, strong opinions about this. Like, some people say, ‘Okay, it definitely should be the man,’ or, ‘It should […]
Sowing Seeds of Care
“I’m out of town, and my partner will come by and water my plants, which is like out of her way, but she’s willing to make the time and come by and it’s equitable because there are times where I do a similar thing…She’s going out of her way to help out cause she cares, […]
You Can Cook?
“Another interesting thing, when a woman can cook, it’s like, ‘Duh.’ But when I say I can cook, people are like, ‘Really? Wow, you’re so talented!’ Seriously, the other day, I made muffins and went to the university, and people went crazy, like, ‘You can cook?!’” Participant Age: 25 Participant Locale: Ankara, Turkey
11. Check With Her First
“In the bedroom kind of thing, people need to learn to communicate and ask without just trying to force whatever agenda they put into the back of their minds…I understand that whatever I was doing was somehow indirectly or directly affecting this person. So, whatever decision I made, I pass it through her first.” Participant […]
Birthday Surprise
“In the spirit of keeping things fun and memorable. This was a 29th birthday, which was her birthday…I put together something, like a little presentation, and when she came back from a class, she came and saw this and she was very happy with it.” Participant Age: 40 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
It’ll Bloom Again
“Blackberries grow, and this is a flower that’s nearby. When it comes to relationships, there are going to be times when it blooms, there’s also times when it’s not blooming…you got to appreciate when it’s real good, but you also can’t react too much to when it’s not going the way you want, eventually it’ll […]
Sweet Dates
“She’s a huge lover of ice cream. So, we have like this favorite spot where to go out for dates. And we’ll just talk and have fun together.” Participant Age: 24 Participant Locale: Ontario, Canada
5. Leading and Being Led
“There is leading and being led, but you have to give intention and the follower should accept it. And she could lead, or he could lead also…instead of just one person starting and the other one is doing…but it’s both deciding, both accepting, negotiating, and changing the way we do it.” Participant Age: 30 Participant […]
Together Towards the Future
“We share the same goals, we are looking towards the future at the same direction.” Participant Age: 39 Participant Locale: Istanbul, Turkey
Getting Away From Work
“We always take those moments where we can just sneak away, it could be for one night…Often, we’ll still be working when we’re there, but you can send some emails, make some phone calls, you’re still somewhere, not in an office…we’ve always got an eye to where we can get away and disappear for three, […]
Holiday Differences
“We compromised and settled on [a tree] that was a bit smaller and fake. This is just a reminder that there will be stresses, you’re not always going to agree and get along, but it’s understanding that we’re still individual people with individual preferences, and sometimes there are going to be things that you aren’t […]
Weekly Walk
“We do a walk down there every few days…there’s another restaurant attached that we both like to go to every now and then. We will oftentimes go to dinner like after an exam or after something stressful…It’s bit of bonding, a bit of health/physical activity.” Participant Age: 24 Participant Locale: Newfoundland & Labrador, Canada
Inclusive Community
“UBC means a lot for us because it changed our life when my partner got accepted to study as a PhD student…I feel that UBC is a good workplace for LGBTQ+ people. I feel really supported and I am also trying to create a safe space for LGBTQ+ people. So, it was a turning point […]
Privacy to Foster Closeness
“Bedroom is a place in which partners tend to stay and have intimate relationship talks. These are things that drives closeness…sometimes, partners may have issues. At the end of the day, they will settle it in the bedroom. That is the only place where you can have peace, closeness, love, romance.” Participant Age: 26 Participant […]
Withstanding Quakes
“This building faced many earthquakes, storms, different political regimes, and many other things. But it’s still here…it’s similar to a relationship. You need to look around at what you have been through and…say that we’ve been through all of this, we’re going to be able to face the obstacles that we are going to face, […]
Small Reminders
“This was a bracelet that I made for him…just having those little tokens to remind him that you’re thinking about him, and that you take the time to do these things is super important even when you are far apart.” Participant Age: 20 Participant Locale: Rhode Island, United States
Rhythm in Relationships
“We should be able to share a night and be just focused on one thing, just having fun. There must be some dedicated times to have together…The best part is being in the same rhythm…You’re just trying to have fun or just trying to dance with your partner.” Participant Age: 23 Participant Locale: Istanbul, Turkey
Building Our Home Together
“She sent me this hobbit home from the Lord of the Rings…because we always think about our significant other who we can rely on to build our home…this is important for me because I devoted my time and my energy and [she] did too.” Participant Age: 39 Participant Locale: Istanbul, Turkey
Being There for Each Other
“I made the decision in January to go spend some time with family but I could tell that she wanted to spend that birthday together, or have some celebration…So, we ended up planning something with the help of her friends and she really enjoyed it…when we did long distance, we just do these things for […]
14. A Match
“I guess two things with this photo is the concept of moving forward…but also, like, the fact of difference in relationships and, you know, you don’t have to be the same person, right?…You want to have these differences that you can kind of learn from and you can have different passions and different ways of […]
You’d Like This Book!
“We don’t have the same taste, but we are really similar…I couldn’t find a good book to read…I was like hmm, what should I read, and she found this for me, that’s beautiful.” Participant Age: 30 Participant Locale: Ankara, Turkey
12. Get on the Same Page
“When you’re having or making a big financial decision, like buying a house like this, make sure that you’re both on the same page about what you want. If you’re someone in a relationship where you don’t usually voice up, voice up…even though it’s going to cause conflict, stand up for what you want out […]
Getting Better Together
“I have goals and she has goals. We help each other to get there. So, I think being supportive in that regard is also very important. Like, getting better together.” Participant Age: 24 Participant Locale: İzmir, Turkey
Date Expenses
“In my relationships, I wouldn’t keep score of who paid what, and I don’t like splitting at the restaurants, for example. For one date I pay, for one date my partner pays.” Participant Age: 34 Participant Locale: Ankara, Turkey
3. Opening Up
“We stay up at night and talk even though it’s a really crowded place…her being really open with me allows for me to be more open and talk about my feelings. That’s not a really easy thing for me, and that makes me feel really good.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: Istanbul, Turkey
Flourishing Together
“It says, ‘A life without flowers is a dish without salt’, that’s how I feel about relationships because…with my friends, I can spend lots of time with them. But eventually, my battery runs out, and I have to be alone for a while. But a relationship is not like that. I can spend an indefinite […]
15. Feeling Comfortable
“Knowing that [you] are with someone that would care for you, and that you can be open about your feelings, and you can feel safe…I thought it was like really comfy…I knew that I felt good and relaxed, and don’t think about any other things.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: Istanbul, Turkey
6. The Bigger Picture
“You have to be conscious of the bigger picture, from time to time, one of you might take on more work…But the point is that you are a team, your roles may change, but it‘s a journey you are taking with your partner.” Participant Age: 26 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Home Is Where the Heart Is
“As I went to bed, I just started feeling really happy because I was home…the fact that I feel at home here is largely due to my wife. If she hadn’t moved with me here…. I would still have found some place to live, and I would have established a routine and everything, but it […]
Enjoying the Silly Moments
“This has always been a major part of our relationship in that we’ve always taken time to participate in…going out and getting dressed up in funny costumes, or even just going out to different events and shows…we have a mutual appreciation for dance music and dancing and being silly with our friends” Participant Age: 42 […]
4. Your Safe Space
“This pathway is a place that shelters you from all of the outside unpleasantries. I feel like that’s one of the things that a relationship should provide…like, no matter what happens outside, it should be a safe space for you to go on with your life.” Participant Age: 25 Participant Locale: South Holland, Netherlands
28. Bad Feminist
“When we were moving in, she kind of like had more of the artistic vision of how the apartment should come together. Whereas I was just like doing the labour of a lot of the moving and assembling…when things end up being split that way, I always feel a little guilty or like a bad […]
Breakfast Adventure
“We go to a bakery, and I will pick first, and then she’ll go to the next bakery and pick, and then we both end up getting a mishmash of things…The fact that we’re able to turn something mundane, like buying breakfast, into this fun little date and adventure, and this excuse to walk around […]
20. Feeling Loved
“You need to show each other that you actually care about each other in a physical way as well as an emotional way; I think that is an important part of a relationship…actually taking care of each other’s physical needs…in the sense that you need to feel loved, and you need to feel cared for.” […]
13. Consistent Check-ins
“Often we‘ll write a quick sticky note to say there’s some food, coffee, help yourself, have a great day…a quick reminder that she cares…it‘s important to regularly verbalize those feelings and just have that openness about how we’re feeling.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
A Little Treat
“In Hong Kong, there are many shop owners, they have their own cats…we do have a habit that when we see the cats, we want to treat them some snacks. So, this is one of our hobbies and what we have done when we are dating or going out.” Participant Age: 29 Participant Locale: British […]
A Balancing Act
“You have to approach new situations and trying to find a balance…a lot of the relationship has adventure. Some adventures are going to be fun. You’re traveling to new places. Other adventures are going to be more challenging, like having a baby, and kind of finding that balance is a huge part of the adventure.” […]
Investing Time
“It’s a give and take between the two partners and you have to invest your time in the person. If I’m never available to my partner, what good am I…You’re sacrificing time when you could be watching football, playing beach volleyball, playing whatever. Same thing with the other person.” Participant Age: 39 Participant Locale: British […]
10. Finding Balance
“So, to me, it’s kind of perfectly balanced…And that balance point might not be everyone doing exactly the same things, because I know some couples that say, ‘Well, if you’re going to do dishes, we have to do half of the week me, half of the week you.’…So, to me, that becomes too neurotic. It […]
Uphill Battles
“I needed to climb these stairs to go to my class. It resembled to me the hardships that I go through…There are times that you have to endure for the better cause. You may not enjoy the process, but for the sustainability of a relationship, sometimes you need to compromise.” Participant Age: 23 Participant Locale: […]
Value of Friends
“We’re able to get along with each other’s friends, we’re both good in social groups…we make it a point to always have some kind of social life going on, either separately or together.” Participant Age: 20 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
19. Meeting Each Other There
“Making sure that you are continuing to check in with each other and, you know, people’s wants and needs change over time. So, making sure that like, you are still meeting each other there.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: Pennsylvania, United States
Play Area
“It was not an easy decision to [move here]. I still can’t read most signs…There was a lot of sacrifices to be made, but at the same time, there’s so many benefits as well. That balance is really important to find, to make the sacrifices you need to get the job that you want that…draws […]
21. Living Separate Lives
“I am expecting to have separate lives also, like within a friend group, within the external activities, outside activities, inside activities, private times, personal times etc…and it’s really important for me because I have to be myself first…After that process, we can be together because like we are also two separate people. And we could […]
Calendar
“It’s one thing to share household labor – which I do think we do quite equally – but then there’s this whole other element of cognitive labor, which in different sex relationships is often taken on by the women.” Participant Age: 41 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Building Without a Blueprint
“What has been difficult for me in relationships has been this very result-oriented…idea of where to go next, when do you meet the parents, move in together, have kids…that’s why I chose the things important to me that don’t have a specific direction, just creating together without knowing what goes and being okay with that.” […]
Check Your Privilege
“It was representative of this interracial journey that we are on and the challenges and the beauty in it…There are differences with culture and with perception, and a lot of different aspects of how we identify and are viewed from the outside…I think the point here was really around having those conversations about race.” Participant […]
29. To Drink or Not to Drink
“I am thinking I would like to have another, but [my partner] wouldn’t like me to…I don’t want to cause that argument. Other times I go well ‘fuck it’, it’s the only time off I’m getting…this balancing of do you always do what you think your partner wants or sometimes it is okay to actually […]
Terrarium
“He was always into plants, but then he kind of gave up on it for a bit, and then I kind of got him back into it…it’s a little hobby that we share because we’re both into plants, and he kind of like helped me build this terrarium…I think it just mostly represents a shared […]
Eggcelent Bonding
“To pass the time we created a game, so the goal is to carry an egg with you all the time and it must not break. So, it became a private joke with my girlfriend who was with me at the time…That was the thing that created some strong bond between us.” Participant Age: 24 […]
Sharing Important Memories
“Anything that’s really important to the partner should be shared with the other partner. So, I mean, if my partner wins a race, she wants to share with me, I should celebrate with her…Equal share of the important memories or important experiences.” Participant Age: 39 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Birdie Harmony
“We really enjoyed playing together and found badminton to be a huge activity that we do together…it’s one of the few sports that we sort of do together. And it’s a good way to bond…it’s a pretty big way that we stay connected with each other through sports.” Participant Age: 23 Participant Locale: British Columbia, […]
Unplug to Connect
“Be in the moment, give your partner your absolute, undivided attention. Give the media a break, give your work a break, give your phone a break…Everything circles back to that so that you can have effective communication…You can’t hear your partner and be on the phone at the same time.” Participant Age: 39 Participant Locale: […]
Love Beyond Currency
“I didn’t have money. I lost my job, so I was especially afraid…We started sharing our memories, then I was so happy…You can have money, be busy, travel all over, but if you don’t have time for her, don’t have attention, the love will fade and go away…The most important part of the relationship is […]
22. I Like Flowers Too
“I like flowers, too. Some of my relationships, some of my partners, after I tell them, bought these kinds of flowers…Like, I am not writing down how many times I have bought roses or flowers and how many I’ve received. Still, occasionally, I might like some of those.” Participant Age: 34 Participant Locale: Ankara, Turkey
A Journey of Finances
“We had to come up with a plan that would allow us to afford this place. We had to jump through so many hoops with realtors, builders, and the county, and all these different things and what was really exciting at the beginning ended up being really stressful. But we were able to do it […]
Beyond the Trail
“We got into snowshoeing…[this photo] reflects the strength that she has…There’s no trail here, we came into this area literally after a huge snowfall and what we’re walking through is waist-high powder…There was this shared personal space, as well as separation.” Participant Age: 42 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Colour My World
“I was thinking about relationships…all of the colors, and the symbolism of bringing in all of the different kinds of elements, and how when you mix a whole lot of really different things together, it looks really beautiful, and vibrant and alive.” Participant Age: 32 Participant Locale: Auckland, New Zealand
Listening and Contributing
“Listen to what the person is saying and be able to spend one-on-one time, as well as group time together…It’s just again, ensuring that back and forth and that each person feels they are equally contributing to the relationship.” Participant Age: 23 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Sloth Drawings
“We really enjoyed playing together and found badminton to be a huge activity that we do together…it’s one of the few sports that we sort of do together. And it’s a good way to bond…it’s a pretty big way that we stay connected with each other through sports.” Participant Age: 23 Participant Locale: British Columbia, […]
23. I Love You
“A woman is the one who bears a child, who suffers the pain of the labor…so I try to like take care of the kids at night and put them to bed and I handle them when they wake up at night and feed them…if you want to be equitable, a 50/50 share is not […]
Paying the Bill
“I didn’t want him to pay for the food. It came naturally and I really felt like he heard that or maybe he heard that I had some problems, it’s really nice of him. I’ll repay him of course like another time when I would be able to, it’s really important.” Participant Age: 20 Participant […]
Daily Chat
“Almost every night we brew that Turkish tea, and we just talk about our day at work. We mostly try to eat together and chat for 10, 15 minutes because after our son (was born) we don’t like to discuss important issues in front of him.” Participant Age: 38 Participant Locale: Istanbul, Turkey
Engagement Lily
“I proposed to her in Golden Gate Park, which is a big park in San Francisco…we ended up finding this really neat garden area, like a mini orchard of calla lilies and it seemed like a great place to propose. And so, we planted calla lilies, and this was the first calla lily this year…it’s […]
Coming Out of My Shell
“I think it’s good that she pushes me to come out of my shell a little bit more and meet other people. So, spending time with her friends facilitates that. It facilitates me getting out of my comfort zone and becoming more social.” Participant Age: 19 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
In the Same Boat
“I visited Kingston for the first time in a very long time…had a great time over the summer, and just canoed together…It was just this feeling of that we’re working together, and that’s this partnership. There’s truly no deep meaning to this one, but it was just, we are figuratively and literally in the same […]
26. Money is Power
“Who has it tends to have power in the relationship. And so this is where most of the women are at a disadvantageous position because most women are not given the opportunity to work and earn their own money. They tend to depend on the man. And so, once the man feels like he’s the […]
Our Identities
“We both share a research academic kind of lifestyle… I think it is a very big part in who we are now. I mean just our own kind of individual identities but also, I think our identity as a couple as well, that this is the kind of thing that we do, and it is […]
9. Adapting and Adopting
“I never really liked dogs, and when we moved in together, I ended up taking care of the dogs, which was pretty uncomfortable for me at first. The adapting part is that I have to change and I really came to love the dogs, because I knew that my ex really loved them. You have […]
You Are My Rock
“Supporting your partner over uncertain environments…I think constantly putting ourselves in situations that challenge our comfort zone and depending on each other for being the rock through all the unknown.” Participant Age: 31 Participant Locale: Ohio, United States
Being Vulnerable
“I have always been able to open up quite fast, and to show insecurity and to share some of the things that is tough in life…it’s something that I don’t feel bad about going there or share how I feel…and I think that has been an important way for me to relate and has been […]
Offering to Help
“We share everything when it comes to the roles…there’s no one thing for one person. If it’s time for dinner, I don’t mind cooking, she doesn’t mind cooking, and if I’ve been cooking the last three times, she’s going to offer to cook, and sometimes I’ll decline. Sometimes just offering to help is more important […]
8. Our Deepest Conversations
“I think we have our deepest conversations while lying in bed talking about our day, because during the day, we‘re really busy…During nighttime, we would also discuss what our plans are for the next day and then catch up with each other.” Participant Age: 23 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Safe Harbour
“I thought symbolically the mainland would be where we’re both from, our comfort zone…and then the little piece of rock on the right side is us in our relationship and the ocean would just be life and life’s events and stressors and responsibilities.” Participant Age: 24 Participant Locale: Newfound & Labrador, Canada
Open to Adventure
“Opening your mind and being open to doing things – things you’re not used to with your partner…that’s the spirit that I’ve kept, we’ve kept, we will go and try new things, even if it’s outside of our comfort zones or something…it’s enriching our lives.” Participant Age: 40 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Personal Boundaries
Caption: “You can see two different trees within this picture, and they’re kind of touching each other, but they still have some boundaries between them. You can directly say that this is the first tree, and this is the second tree if you look into the leaves. This is a representation of what I want […]
Parental Responsibilities
“We both enjoy taking care of them, like parenting them…even though they are not humans we have the responsibility of a parent, and you share them and that makes you closer with your partner because you know you share that experience with them.” Participant Age: 26 Participant Locale: Ankara, Turkey
16. A Constant Sore Spot
“Chores are going to be a constant…you have a specific way of doing things at your home, and then the other person has a specific way of doing things at their home, those things are going to clash…for us dishes have clashed, and so we have to really compromise and learn how each other does […]
Happy Ending/New Beginning
“This one is an engagement photo…After all of those hard moments, hard years, all of the effort, all of the sacrifice…finally we are somewhere in our relationship…enjoying, after three years apart.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: California, United States
Share Everything Equally
“It is a balance between being able to give too much and not enough. From my experience, I tend to always cut the pizza in four and then give three pieces to her and only give one to me. But that’s not fair and at some point, you just build frustration because of that. So, […]
Our Schedule
“We bought this whiteboard, put it up and update this every week, like who’s doing what, this is where I’m going to be…it just makes our life more connected than before.” Participant Age: 41 Participant Locale: Alberta, Canada
Screen Time Serenity
“We’ll just sit down and enjoy a show, enjoy a program together for maybe an hour or two…we’re able to have some conversation while the show is happening…it’s just taking that time to just kind of lose yourself in a in a story or a show and with someone that you enjoy.” Participant Age: 39 […]
A Colourful Relationship
“I think if you want to keep your relationship energetic and colorful, you should buy little gifts sometime. I think it is very important that you show you think about her, you want to make her happy. I really like finding little things to make her happy.” Participant Age: 25 Participant Locale: Greater Hungary, Hungary
Shared Growth
“We’ve been able to grow together, try something new… It’s not done in a competitive way…but we do it in a supportive way where we help each other learn a new skill, learn a new sport, a new activity…we’re working on making ourselves better by being together and doing something together.” Participant Age: 39 Participant […]
Surprise Gifts
“Even if the relationship is stable, sometimes it is important to give some surprises to my partner to keep the freshness of the relationship…When she meets me, she always wears it, and she also wants to show that she cares about what I give to her.” Participant Age: 29 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Stigma Around Intimacy
“I think I have actually initiated intimacy more times than my partner did. And it was because of the general stigma attached to women initiating intimacy, and the kind of stigma and the myth that comes with women taking the lead.” Participant Age: 31 Participant Locale: Greater Accra Region, Ghana
Diving in the Deep End
“The game is called ‘We’re Not Really Strangers’…the cards give you prompts or questions that you can ask another…making sure that you really do know the individual that you‘re in a relationship with…you’re not really strangers, you’re more than that.” Participant Age: 30 Participant Locale: Washington, D.C., United States
Trying New Things
“In a relationship, when both parties did not do such things before, and they are experiencing it for the first time together, I think that has more of a magic to it…it comes together with the excitement and intimacy alive.” Participant Age: 25 Participant Locale: İzmir, Turkey
Women as the Breadwinner
“Being conscious of pulling your weight when it comes to domestic tasks and things that need to be done, but I maybe go outside of the expected role in that respect, I think more so than [my wife] does, although she still has this big thing where she is the main earner, she is the […]
Running in the Rain
“We were at a cafe studying and it started raining. We didn’t have any umbrellas, so, we waited for about one hour so the rain would stop. It was 1 a.m. and the cafe said, ‘We are closing. You have to go.’ We started having fun running around in the rain, goofing off. It was […]
Seen as Partners
“This was the first time we’ve gone to someone’s wedding as a couple. I had met the friends before, I think twice, but I don’t know them very well…it was important to me because it felt like I had been accepted, integrated, it felt like we were partners, not just to us and our families, […]
Let Her Choose
“She just has more of a preference for some tasks over the other. For me, I don‘t really mind any of the tasks so I let her choose. It’s somewhat of an expectation, today’s society, I think men probably do it just to prevent…it’s just easier to agree than to get into another fight.” Participant […]
27. Accommodations
“If we go to this location, like she’ll want to do this activity and I might not choose that, like, first thing for myself. But then I’ll gladly go and do that activity and then I think similar for her. So, again, I think that’s also a part of the equitable, it’s not just it’s […]
Gender Roles
“I was in a relationship with somebody who thinks that there are specific things for women, specific things for men…that person thought I’m not man enough. This puts a strain on our relationship.” Participant Age: 43 Participant Locale: Greater Accra Region, Ghana
2. The Value of Trust
“It‘s a climbing carabiner, it’s a very important part of climbing…in a relationship, you have to trust the other person. If you fall or if something in life happened that you’re not happy about, you’re in a bad spot, that your partner would be able to help you out and help pick you back up…just […]
Backyard Duties
“This is a picture of our backyard. And [my wife], I’m not positive she knows where our lawnmower is, she’s never touched it, for sure could not start it. This is kind of responsibility that is just always and forever been mine.” Participant Age: 36 Participant Locale: South Dakota, United States
Spicy Delicacy
“We have to entertain the kids and we don’t have much time for ourselves. So, one of the things we do is we go on lunch dates because we work in the same campus now. I enjoy food a lot, so sometimes we go a bit further to try something delicious.” Participant Age: 32 Participant […]
Flying Solo
“I’m a very independent person…I’m completely fine going to the museum alone, and my partner can be at home or go to another museum or go to a movie or be with friends…I just want it balanced, we don’t have to talk the entire time.” Participant Age: 22 Participant Locale: New Mexico, United States
Business Partners
“We started a business together…and none of us have any background in business or selling anything. The idea of having this activity that we’re doing together, it builds the relationship, like, ‘Okay, let’s learn this together. Let’s learn how to deal with the business and create a brand,’ and we’ve enjoyed doing it together.” Participant […]
17. Seeking Professional Help
“We can try to let our egos aside and have a conversation about that. But if we cannot come to a middle ground about this, and it’s so important for both of us that we are not breaking down on our point, maybe those kinds of situations might require some professional help.” Participant Age: 25 […]
25. We All Deserve Pleasure
“I receive, I think, more pleasure, just from a natural sexual experience than she does and so the idea of supplementing that with some sort of toy or whatever it might be…was sort of an equity piece of making sure that both of our needs were met to the best of our abilities and sort […]
From the Beginning to the End
“We have a baking class in Hong Kong, and we create the cake together, from the beginning to the end product, and we also eat it…this is the first time we cooked together…because our living condition may be smaller, so it is quite difficult for us.” Participant Age: 29 Participant Locale: British Columbia, Canada
Cafe Chat
“This is taken from the coffee shop that we have been to; we have always been there because the owner has a cute dog…we always love to chat in a coffee shop, we always been there with the good food, good coffee, and with the dog that we can play with.” Participant Age: 29 Participant […]
Money Rules Everything
“I feel like a lot of relationships nowadays rely solely on finance before anything else. So, back to expectations. People are like, ‘Oh, if this person doesn’t have X amount of money, or if they don’t make X amount of money every year, or if they don’t drive this, or if they don’t do that…I’m […]
7. Mistakes Are Bound to Happen
“Like, obviously, both sides in the relationship are going to make mistakes and cracks are bound to happen, but it’s up to you how to fill them in. Like, I just thought that the way this looks, it adds color to what otherwise is a concrete block. Also, you could use this as an analogy […]
Dinner Prep
“Before there were conflicts where my girlfriend felt like she was cooking more often than I was, which was true. How we resolved that was we’ll schedule days ahead of time. For example, if you cook three days, I cook three days. Having measurable and quantifiable tasks helps achieve the equity in terms of like […]
24. Feeling Safe With Me
“She knew that she felt safe with me out there. And she was able to sort of let go of the question of feeling uncertain about what is going on and these new things and feeling safe in the environment that she was in.” Participant Age: 28 Participant Locale: Gisborne Region, New Zealand